We got married after that, and my husband bought an apartment. Thinking that I, a village girl, could now live in a big city, I was so proud of myself. I unintentionally saw my neighbor hire three domestic helpers, thinking that though we both do business, I only hired one person. I felt unbalanced, always wanting to compete with others. At that time, I always planned to buy a BMW car or a villa, and thinking about how to earn more money day and night made me hard to sleep.
8 years soon passed, and my husband’s business didn’t make a good profit. Because the markets are the place where profiteers make money in dishonest means and only those who know how to play tricks can gain success, we hardly made money in our business, and were even unable to collect money for the shipped goods. I started to look for reasons in my husband, blaming him for having no wisdom in doing business and being too honest. In order to make money, my husband and I started to find other ways and planned to buy some stocks, intending to be an upstart or earn a million dollars overnight. I just thought about how to become rich day and night. Buying stock involves a very high risk, as stock price often rises or falls. Sometimes I could earn some amount of money in a very short while, and when I got the money, my desire would expand. When I had a million dollar, I would want to own ten million more, but things didn’t go as I wish. We met financial crisis, and as the stock plunged, we lost all our money. But I was unwilling to fail, thinking that failure teaches success and we could try again at another proper time. My husband also said that we had one chance in every ten years, and if we wanted to achieve accomplishment, we couldn’t give up until we reached our goal.
The bull market started in 2014. At that time, we thought by drawing lessons from the past, we could be able to buy low and sell high, investing less and making a large amount of money. In order to earn more money, my husband sold our property, borrowed from his fellow townsman a loan of tens of thousands HK dollars with high interest, and invested them all in stocks. We gambled all our money in it and wished to get a big profit. But all our desire turned to illusion and disappointment. The stocks plunged and our investment ended with failure. Most of our money, which was a few million HK dollars, was swept away. Destiny had shattered my dream of fortune. I was overwhelmed with sorrow and really at my lowest point in life. My mental depression made me nearly collapsed, I often felt headache, dizzy and even suffered from insomnia. At that time, I felt I lost the focus of life, had no meaning to stay alive, and life was worse than death. I couldn’t help wondering: Why are we alive? And where to go? Why all my effort and hard work were wasted?
When I was lost and didn’t know what to do, Almighty God’s gospel came to me out of my expectation. Some sisters fellowshipped with me about the truth on belief in God, and talked about the root of mankind’s degeneration. One sister said: “God created human beings and placed them in the Garden of Eden, where there was no hustle and bustle, no sadness or pain, and no cycle of birth, aging, sickness, and death. Instead, Adam and Eve lived carefree under God’s blessing. Because they had been seduced by Satan, they ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that God told them not to. Since they disobeyed God’s word and betrayed God, they had been expelled from the Garden of Eden. From then on, human beings start to live under Satan’s influence and have lost the blessing of God, suffering in the cycle of life and death and working day and night to support their family, and no one can be detached from Satan’s influence. Now based on the Lord Jesus’ redemption work during the Age of Grace, the incarnate Almighty God has started to do the work of judgment, having expressed words to save and cleanse us, so that we can get rid of Satan’s harm, come before God to enjoy His salvation, and live under His protection and blessing.” After listening to the sister’s fellowship, I became very interested, and liked to listen to the fellowshipping on God’s work of saving humans. Through sisters’ many times of fellowshipping, I confirm completely that Almighty God is the only true God to worship, and from then on I’ve walked on the path of following God, and start to live the church life.
In church life, through sharing and fellowshipping about God’s word with the brothers and sisters, I understand more of God’s word and God’s salvation for mankind during the last day, see God’s work indeed can save and purify humans, and feel that believing in God is walking on the right path of life. One day, I saw God’s word says: “Because people do not recognize God’s orchestrations and God’s sovereignty, they always face fate defiantly, with a rebellious attitude, and always want to cast off God’s authority and sovereignty and the things fate has in store, hoping in vain to change their current circumstances and alter their fate. But they can never succeed; they are thwarted at every turn. This struggle, which takes place deep in one’s soul, is painful; the pain is unforgettable; and all the while one is frittering away one’s life. What is the cause of this pain? Is it because of God’s sovereignty, or because a person was born unlucky? Obviously neither is true. At bottom, it is because of the paths people take, the ways people choose to live their lives. Some people may not have realized these things. But when you truly know, when you truly come to recognize that God has sovereignty over human fate, when you truly understand that everything God has planned for and decided for you is a great benefit, and is a great protection, then you feel your pain gradually lighten, and the whole of you become relaxed, free, liberated” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). God’s word woke me up, and I realized that my destiny is in God’s hand, controlled and arranged by Him. Which family I was born, and how much wealth I can get, whether I am rich, poor, noble, or lowly in life, these are all in God’s sovereignty. As a created being, I should obey God’s arrangement, but I wanted to use my ability to challenge my fate. For making money and becoming successful, I racked my brain and tried different means, such as I opened a restaurant, did business, traded stocks and etc. In all these years, I suffered tremendously in my bitter struggles, felt lost and exhausted, and lastly met with total failures. Isn’t this all because I wanted to get rid of God’s arrangement and fight against fate? Aren’t my grief and sufferings brought by my arrogant disposition and the ambition of changing my destiny? At this time, I realized that when I didn’t know about God’s sovereignty, all I received were just sadness and pain, which made me unforgettable. We are created by God, we should obey His sovereignty and arrangement. Only in this way can we feel relaxed, free, and liberated. Under the revelation of God’s word, I felt ashamed, realizing that I am irrational and extremely arrogant and that a life of pursuing knowledge of God’s sovereign and arrangement and obeying God’s authority is the most meaningful life. I am willing to give up my desire and plans.
But, there are many truths that I do not understand, and I’m not clear about God’s work of salvation, and how Satan corrupts humans. As a person who saw money as life, I was still busy with business to earn profits, and sometimes had no time to have gatherings or couldn’t be punctual for them. One day, I was late for the gathering again due to business, some sisters fellowshipped with me the value and meaning of pursuing truth in believing in God, and advised me to spend more time in having gatherings and reading God’s word. Although at that time I didn’t understand them and felt unhappy, the sisters still patiently fellowshipped about God’s intention of saving us. When I got back home, the more I thought about it, the more I blamed myself. The sisters helped me with love, and fellowshipped with me so that I could know God’s love and salvation, and meanwhile I could understand and see through how Satan corrupts humans, break free from Satan’s harm, and walk on the right path of life in following God. This is God’s love and salvation toward me, but I didn’t know good from bad, and did not appreciate it. I felt strong reproach for my attitude toward sisters, so I prayed to God: “O God, You know that I am numb and ignorant. Facing Your genuine salvation toward me, I didn’t understand Your will, and instead I misunderstood You. I felt self-reproach for my actions and indebted to You! God, please enlighten and guide me, so that I can step onto the right path of life.”
One day in my spiritual devotion, I read the following God’s words: “Something is revealed through the human disposition of the people in this world, including yourselves sitting here. How is this interpreted? It’s the worship of money. Is it hard to get this out of someone’s heart? It is very hard! It seems that Satan’s corruption of man is thorough indeed! Can we say that? (Yes.) So after Satan uses this trend to corrupt people, how is it manifested in them? Don’t you feel that you couldn’t survive one day in this world without any money, that even one day would just be impossible? (Yes.) People’s status is based on how much money they have as is their respectability. The backs of the poor are bent in shame, while the rich enjoy their high status. They stand tall and proud, speaking loudly and living arrogantly. What does this saying and trend bring to people? Don’t many people see getting money as being worth any cost? Don’t many people sacrifice their dignity and integrity in the pursuit of more money? … To what degree has this saying affected you? You might know the true way, you might know truth, but you are powerless to pursue it. You might clearly know the word of God, but you are unwilling to pay the price, unwilling to suffer to pay the price. Instead, you would rather sacrifice your own future and destiny to go against God to the very end” (“God Himself, the Unique V”). God’s words have revealed the true situation of my advocating of money. I spent much of my life in earning money, thought it could bring me high status and man’s respectability, and if I had it I could enjoy a luxury and happy life. In order to make money, I dropped out in middle school; for making more money, I tried every way to find the secrets to getting rich. Though I suffered a lot during that period, I had no complains, and when I had money, I wanted to have more. I planned so hard every day on how to earn more money that I often suffered from insomnia. From God’s word I now understand that this is the way Satan corrupts us. Deeply corrupted by the satanic poisons like money is not everything but without money you can’t do anything, money talks all, money makes the world go round etc., I worshipped money and was entirely willing to suffer for it. I see that I’d been deceived by Satan so much that I lost the right path. In order to earn a large amount of money, some people around me invested all their money to stocks. Some people mortgaged their house and borrowed from loan sharks to invest in stocks, but their stocks fell to the bottom, and they lost everything, had to carry huge loans, and chose to commit suicide under tremendous pressure. Although some rich friends around me have money, they constantly worry that their husband may have an affair. When some friends have money, they feel empty inside and play mahjong all day to numb themselves and kill the time. Such examples are too numerous to list. Now I see the toxin Satan has implanted in our mind like money makes the world go round can indeed drag us into the mire of degeneration, and Satan’s methods are so ignoble and hateful. God wants to save me from Satan’s mire, but I was too ignorant to differentiate the ways Satan corrupts humans. I was too blind. At the same time, I understand that money can’t buy peace, life and longevity, much less can it fill the emptiness in our heart.
Later I saw it’s written in God’s words: “When one has no God, when one cannot see Him, when one cannot clearly recognize God’s sovereignty, every day is meaningless, worthless, miserable. Wherever one is, whatever one’s job is, one’s means of living and the pursuit of one’s goals bring one nothing but endless heartbreak and irrelievable suffering, such that one cannot bear to look back. Only when one accepts the Creator’s sovereignty, submits to His orchestrations and arrangements, and seeks true human life, will one gradually break free from all heartbreak and suffering, shake off all the emptiness of life. … The sadness of man is not that man seeks happy life, not that he pursues fame and fortune or struggles against his own fate through the fog, but that after he has seen the Creator’s existence, after he has learned the fact that the Creator has sovereignty over human fate, he still cannot mend his ways, cannot pull his feet out of the mire, but hardens his heart and persists in his errors. He would rather keep thrashing in the mud, vying obstinately against the Creator’s sovereignty, resisting it until the bitter end, without the slightest shred of contrition, and only when he lies broken and bleeding does he at last decide to give up and turn back. This is true human sorrow. So I say, those who choose to submit are wise, and those who choose to escape are pig-headed” (God Himself, Unique III”). After reading God’s word, I felt His deep love and mercy on me. God has saved me when I was lost and led me onto the bright path of life. I now see through Satan’s schemes and refuse to worship money anymore, because money does not guarantee a happy life, and only by accepting and obeying God’s sovereignty, and living out God’s requirements for us can we have the real happiness and freedom.
Now I have regular church life, and try my best to do my duty. I feel more relaxed and liberated each day. Thank Almighty God for His salvation! I am willing to search for the truth, and follow God in His work till the very end. May all the glory be to Almighty God!
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