In 1991, by the grace of God, I began to follow Almighty God because of an illness. At that time I didn’t know anything about believing in God, but the interesting thing is that, when eating and drinking of the words expressed by Almighty God, I enjoyed it. I felt that His words were so good, and when I sang or prayed I was frequently moved by the Holy Spirit to the point of weeping. That sweetness in my heart, that enjoyment was as if a joyous event had come upon me. Particularly in get-togethers during the great work of the Holy Spirit, I felt as if I had transcended the flesh and I was living in the third heaven, that everything belonging to the world had been cast to the winds. I can’t say how joyful, how happy I was in my heart. I felt that I was the happiest person in the world. So at that time I believed that believing in God was just enjoying His grace.
As more and more of God’s words were being released (at the time they were being continuously sent to the church, passage after passage), I also knew more and more. Then, I was no longer fulfilled by merely enjoying God’s grace. When I saw “firstborn sons” mentioned in His words and I learned that God bestows great blessings on His firstborn sons, I sought to become one, hoping that in the future I could reign with God. Later on, when I saw in His words that His time was coming soon, I felt even more urgency, and thought: I started believing in God so late; will I be unable to gain this blessing? I need to put more effort into it. So when the house of God arranged for me to copy out documents, I was very proactive. I wasn’t afraid of hardship. I decided I wasn’t going to find a partner or a job so that I would be able to gain the blessing of being a firstborn son. If I could become a firstborn son, I was willing to throw anything out, to pay any price. In truth, God had never said definitively in His words that we could be firstborn sons. It was just because we were ambitious and had extravagant desires, we believed that because God had called us His “sons” and that He now uplifted us, that we would certainly become the firstborn. This was how I believed that I had, naturally, become a firstborn son. Later I saw words of God that had just been released that frequently mentioned “service-doers,” and there were more and more mentions of the judgment of service-doers. I thought to myself: Luckily I am following Almighty God, otherwise I would become a service-doer. When I read about God’s blessings and promises for firstborn sons, I believed that a portion of that would be mine. When I read His words of comfort and exhortation for His firstborn, I also felt that they were addressed to me. I felt even more delighted particularly when I saw the following: “The great disasters will certainly not befall upon My sons, My beloved. I will look after My sons in every moment and in every second. You certainly will not endure that pain and suffering; rather, it is for the sake of the perfection of My sons and the fulfillment of My word in them, so that you may recognize My omnipotence, further grow in life, shoulder burdens for Me sooner, and devote your entire selves for the completion of My management plan. You should be glad and happy and rejoice because of this. I will hand over everything to you, allowing you to take control. I will place it in your hands. If a son inherits his father’s entire estate, how much more so with you, My firstborn sons? You are truly blessed. Instead of suffering from the great disasters, you will enjoy everlasting blessings. What glory! What glory!” (“The Sixty-eighth Utterance” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I thought: Am I dreaming? Such incredible manna from heaven has landed upon me? I couldn’t completely dare to believe it, but I was afraid my brothers and sisters would say that my faith was too small, so I didn’t dare to not believe it.
