How did She Revive Her Faith and Return to God?

By Xinzhi, the United States

After getting married, I always suffered family violence. My husband and my mother-in-law were temperamental and often beat me and cursed me. So I lived in great pain, and sometimes when I could bear it no longer, I even wanted to die and forget it.
Later, it was the Lord Jesus who saved me from that painful family. However, after leaving home, I found one of my feet began to atrophy because of their long-term beatings. Afterwards, my illness got so severe that I was unable to walk, but could only lay on the bed. After an examination, even the doctor said my illness couldn’t be cured. With this news hitting me like thunder from a clear sky, I was completely hopeless, losing confidence in my life and thinking about suicide. But the Lord had never abandoned me. Through the sisters of the church visiting me and praying for me, I gradually made a miraculous recovery. At that moment, I was so moved that hot tears welled up in my eyes. I knew it was the Lord who cured me of my illness and my heart was full of gratitude toward Him. Having personally experienced His wonderful salvation, my faith in the Lord became greater and I resolved to follow Him all my life to repay His grace. In 2000, unexpectedly, my son was seriously ill. When the brothers and sisters of the church knew that, they prayed for my son every day. One week later, to my surprise, my son’s illness healed without treatment. The Lord is so almighty! I had enjoyed so much grace of the Lord, so I dedicated myself to Him and often donated to the church. At that time, I could feel the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit, and lived in circumstances where I felt peaceful, joyful, and happy.

I Was Confused About the Fact That the Church Gradually Became Desolate

In 2007, because my son was not interested in study, after persuading him invalidly, I wanted to help him register for the spiritual training class of the church. I originally planned to send him to study in the church nearby, but my son couldn’t meet the conditions that he should have college diploma and be very familiar with the Bible and so on. Thus, I could only send him to another remote church. After a few years, the church arranged for him to serve in another city. Unexpectedly, my son had a car accident on the way to that city and then he was taken to the police department. I thought the people of our church should come to help us, but later who would have known that nobody showed up to help us. Eventually it was unbelievers who helped us deal with this accident, which made me extremely cold-hearted. I remembered that the pastor often taught us to love each other with the Lord’s words, but when we encountered issues, they all protected themselves. How unconcerned and merciless they were!

Later, the circumstances of the church became worse and worse. The pastor preached with no new light. They only explained biblical knowledge and theology and talked about some testimonies of grace and blessings to show off their piety. As a result, the lives of believers did not receive any supply. They all lived in fleshly enjoyments, pursued worldly pleasures and were unwilling to attend meetings. When ill, some believers prayed but could not be healed of their sicknesses, and then they all lived in negativity and weakness; when the adultery happened occasionally in our church, the pastor acted like nothing had happened after hearing it.

I looked again at my family and myself: Having studied in the spiritual training class for several years, my son mastered so much about the Bible and preached in the church. However, He didn’t follow the Lord’s way at all. When at home, he only placed importance on wining, dining and frolicking and even his disposition became more arrogant and self-righteous. I couldn’t resist sinning with regularity as well, failing to keep the Lord’s teachings, and living in a cycle of sinning and repenting; when I was sinning, I couldn’t felt the discipline of the Holy Spirit and the Lord’s presence, so I gradually lost the faith I had at the start. I repeatedly cried out to the Lord, hoping that He could make me change my old self and no longer struggle in sin, even more so, hoping that the church could be revived and that brothers and sisters could truly love each other. Yet, it was unexpected that the church was becoming increasingly desolate. In about 2009, I left the church, but still kept on reading the Bible and praying at home, not daring to leave the Lord.

My Faith Grew Cold and My Situation Became More Depraved

In 2013, under the Lord’s wonderful guidance, my son and I came to America. On arriving in America, I hurriedly looked for the churches. After visiting many churches, I found that the situation with the churches abroad was the same as that with the domestic churches, where I couldn’t feel the presence of the Lord, nor could I see the enlightenments and guidance of the Holy Spirit. I felt very upset and disappointed. I didn’t understand: Why did the churches change that much? Why did I get more tired in my belief in the Lord? From then on, I hardly ever went to the church, only worshiping the Lord on my own at home. I thought of what the pastor ever said: “The precious blood of our Lord Jesus has cleansed our sins so the sins of us have been forgiven. When the Lord comes, we’ll be raptured to the kingdom of heaven.” I used to warn myself with these words: I must hold on to the Lord’s way. I won’t stray from the Lord. I believe He will definitely return to take me up into the kingdom of heaven.

However, my faith was weaker and weaker. I couldn’t feel the Lord’s presence when praying. There was no new light when I was reading the Bible. I was gradually unwilling to read the Bible and pray. Finally, I was completely engaged in earning money, drifting further and further away from the Lord. In those years, I felt quite miserable, but I was unable to escape from the bonds of money. I cried out to the Lord many times and begged Him to strengthen my faith and give me power to overcome sin, but I couldn’t break away from the bonds of sin. When I was painful and helpless, I was thankful that the Lord listened to my prayer and saved me from darkness.

My Confusion Was Resolved Because of a Wondrous Encounter

In April 2017, when I was off work, I carelessly rented a wrong hotel. By chance, the hotel proprietor was a Christian. When knowing I was also a Christian, he treated me enthusiastically. One evening he just happened to attend the Bible study group, so he invited me to join them. I actually didn’t want to go, thinking that there were no good sermons in the churches nowadays and my attending would be just a waste of time. But the proprietor told me that this brother preached with great light, which helped him a lot at every meeting and resolved many of his realistic confusion and troubles. Eventually, through his repeated invitations, I decided to go and have a look. After we met in person, I saw that brothers and sisters treated others kindly and enthusiastically and that everyone talked in release and freedom in the gathering. Especially the brother, who preached, looked so young, but what he preached was quite fresh. He fellowshiped that since we humans became depraved, God has started the management plan for the salvation of mankind. God’s work is always progressing forward. According to our needs, He has performed different work during different ages. Every step of God’s work is carried out upon the foundation of the previous stage, and they are all complementary and linked one to the next. The brother also preached the inside story and substance of the work in the Age of Law and the Age of Grace. I had never heard these sermons, and then I listened more seriously.

When the brother talked about the current situation of churches, I asked: “Why have we not felt the Lord’s presence in recent years though we follow Him? Why have the churches become more and more desolate?” Afterwards, the brother fellowshiped with us: “In fact, now it’s not just your church that is bleak and desolate, but the entire religious world is in a desolate situation. Just as it is said in Amos 8:11, ‘Behold, the days come, said the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD.’ It is talked that the famine the entire religious is facing now is just the fulfillment of God’s prophecies and the sign of the last days. On the one hand, it is caused by man. Just as it says in the Bible, ‘not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD.’ It primarily refers to the fact that religious pastors and elders mainly preach biblical knowledge and theology, and that they also use it to glorify themselves to be worshiped by others, but do not follow the Lord’s teachings and commandments, nor lead the followers to practice and experience the words of the Lord so that the followers can understand the truth and know the Lord. They’ve gone astray from the Lord’s way, which results in them losing the work of the Holy Spirit and God’s blessings. On the other hand, the work of the Holy Spirit has moved, having not worked in the churches of the Age of Grace. Just as it was like at the end of the Age of Law, the temple, once so full of glory, grew desolate and then became a den of thieves for money changers and sellers of cows, sheep and doves. The main reason was that the work of the Holy Spirit had been withdrawn from the temple, working on those who accepted the new work of the Lord Jesus. All those who could accept the Lord Jesus as their Savior, pray to Him and confess and repent their sins could receive His salvation and enjoy peace and joy from Him. Similarly, nowadays that the churches become desolate is also because God has performed a new stage of work, that is, the work of judgment beginning from the house of God upon the foundation of the Lord Jesus’ work of redemption. And those who keep up with God’s footsteps have regained the work of the Holy Spirit and received the watering and supply of God’s living water of life. But those who don’t accept God’s new work have been cast out from the stream of work performed by the Holy Spirit and fallen into darkness, and thus they will be rejected and eliminated by God.”

From the brother’s fellowship, I clearly realized that the scenes in the present churches were indeed as desolate as that in the temple at the end of the Age of Law. In the past, I always couldn’t figure out why so many iniquities happened in the church since it was a holy place. Now I understood that the work of the Holy Spirit had departed from the churches of the Age of Grace and the Holy Spirit works on those who accepted God’s new work. It is recorded in Psalms, “Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain” (Psalms 127:1). I thought: That’s right. If the Holy Spirit doesn’t work, no matter how hard we work, the church won’t be revived. Thank the Lord. Through the brother’s fellowship, my questions which had puzzled me for years were solved.

I Understood How to Resolve All the Sin That Plagued Me and Followed the Footsteps of the Lamb

Although what the brother said accorded with the Bible, I still had some doubts: Is it possible that the Lord Jesus has returned and performed the new work? Since the precious blood of our Lord Jesus has cleansed our sins and our belief in the Lord Jesus means our sins have already been forgiven, why does God come back in the last days to do another stage of work? Therefore, I asked these questions of him. The brother communicated with us: “The Bible says, ‘Because it is written, Be you holy; for I am holy’ (1 Peter 1:16). From this verse, we can see that only persons purified by God are qualified to enter into the kingdom of God. The Lord Jesus only did the work of redemption. Our sins have been forgiven, but what is undeniable is that our sinful nature is still rooted deeply within us and we still unknowingly commit sins, resisting God. Though we appear on the outside to be humble, patient, our hearts are full of evil. We are still arrogant, treacherous, engaging in jealousy and disputes, only caring for ourselves, lusting for wealth, following worldly trends and so on. Aren’t these all current condition of us Christians? People like us, who always sin and confess, can we enter the kingdom of heaven?” For this question, we all shook our heads. The brother looked at us, smiling.

He continued fellowshiping to us: “How can we obtain cleansing? After reading a passage of Almighty God’s word, we will know it. Almighty God says, ‘Though man has been redeemed and forgiven of his sins, it is only considered as God not remembering the transgressions of man and not treating man in accordance with man’s transgressions. However, when man lives in the flesh and he has not been set free from sin, he can only continue to sin, endlessly revealing the corrupt satanic disposition. This is the life that man leads, an endless cycle of sin and forgiveness. The majority of men sin in the day only to confess in the evening. As such, even if the sin offering is forever effective for man, it would not be able to save man from sin. Only half the work of salvation has been completed, for man still has corruptdisposition. …’ ‘A sinner such as you, who has just been redeemed, and has not been changed, or been perfected by God, can you be after God’s heart? For you, you who are still of your old self, it is true that you were saved by Jesus, and that you are not counted as a sinner because of the salvation of God, but this does not prove that you are not sinful, and are not impure. How can you be saintly if you have not been changed? Within, you are beset by impurity, selfish and mean, yet you still wish to descend with Jesus—you should be so lucky! You have missed a step in your belief in God: You have merely been redeemed, but have not been changed. For you to be after God’s heart, God must personally do the work of changing and cleansing you; if you are only redeemed, you will be incapable of attaining sanctity. In this way you will be unqualified to share in the good blessings of God, for you have missed out a step in God’s work of managing man, which is the key step of changing and perfecting. And so you, a sinner who has just been redeemed, are incapable of directly inheriting God’s inheritance.’

From God’s words, we understand the Lord Jesus merely completed the work of redemption, serving as the sin offering for us human beings and atoning for our sin. Therefore, we are no longer convicted and punished by law in the light of our sins. Although we have already been saved by grace, it’s undeniable that we still commit sins. We need another stage of God’s work to solve our sinful natures, that is, the work God does in the last days through expressing His word to judge, chastise and purify man. It is the salvation God has prepared for us in the last days, which will allow us to completely free from the bondage of sin and achieve cleanness. In the last days, on the foundation of the work of redemption of the Lord Jesus, Almighty God has done the work of judgment to change man and cleanse man’s corrupt disposition according to the needs of us corrupt humans. It exactly fulfills the prophecy, ‘Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come’ (Revelation 14:7). ‘I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth’ (John 16:12-13). ‘The Spirit of truth’ refers to God incarnate expressing the truth and doing the work of judgment by the word in the last days. Only when we accept and obey God’s work of judgment in the last days can we receive cleansing to enter God’s kingdom.

After hearing this, I suddenly saw the light: In the past I always thought as long as I believed in Jesus, I could be forgiven of sin and I would get into the kingdom of heaven in the future. Now that I think about it, I was too simplistic in thinking about the matter of believing in God. The Bible said a long time ago, “And holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.” God is righteous and holy, how can a person like me, who often sin and can’t keep His teachings, be qualified to enter God’s kingdom? We truly need God to do the work of judging and purifying man, and only then can our sin be resolved at the root of the problem and can we be completely released from the bondage of sin, thereby being cleansed and saved by God. Thanked God. Now I clearly understood. For all these years, I haven’t been so pleasant and delighted like today. I was experiencing ineffable joy.

During the following gatherings, the brother communicated to me about the meaning of God’s names, the inside story of His three-stage work and other aspects of the truth. After hearing that, I was completely certain that Almighty God is the return of the Lord Jesus, that each word of Almighty God is the truth, and that His word is God’s voice. My spirit really gained sustenance from God’s words, like the dry seedlings moistened by rain and dew regaining its life force. God’s word is indeed the living water, which awakened my heart and made me revive. I received God’s new work in delight and followed the footsteps of the Lamb.

Thank God for His Great Grace, Which Made Me See the Light Again

Hereafter, I began to read Almighty God’s words and watch all different types of gospel movies of the Church of Almighty God with the hunger of a man who has been starving. The more I read, the more I felt illuminated in my heart, feeling that I regained the faith I had at the beginning of my belief in the Lord and that I truly enjoyed the supply and shepherding of God’s words. Recalling the past, when I was thirsty in spirit, fell in the darkness with nowhere to go, and unable to feel God, I had some tough times. Now it was God’s great grace that came upon me, saved me from darkness and made me see the light again.

As I read more and more God’s words, I gradually had some true knowledge about my wrong outlooks on life before. In the past, in order to live a better life, I worked hard to earn money. After arriving in America, I even more kept on working all day, seldom resting all year round. No matter how difficult and dirty the work was, I was willing to do it. In those days when I lived for money, I was so pained. Now through reading Almighty God’s words, I understood my fate is in God’s hands and how much wealth I possess is based on God’s preordination, instead of by my efforts. When I vainly hoped to escape from God’s ruling and strive with my own two hands, all I brought to myself was pain. Only by coming before God and obeying God’s sovereignty and arrangement can I receive true release and freedom. Now I spend more time reading God’s words and living the life of the church, so my relationship with God becomes more and more normal and my life progresses quickly. I indeed have experienced the happiness of returning to God’s family.

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